


New Message

by SpenceRose



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones Friendship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jack Harkness Flirts, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8240026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpenceRose/pseuds/SpenceRose
Summary: Ianto Jones is a normal high school student with an uneventful life. Then Jack texts the wrong number and the two are thrown together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _Ianto is italics_  
>  **Jack is bold**  
>  _ **Gwen is bold italics**_  
>  Owen is normal  
> Tosh is underlined

**Tuesday AM**

 

[9:30]  **You better tell me who's responsible for this. Now.**   
  


[9:30]  _ Um, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about? _

 

[9:31] **What are you talking about? You were there when it happened. You better come clean now before I lose my patience.**

 

[9:31]  **Oh shit. I'm sorry. New phone. Guess I should have double checked the number.**

 

[9:32]  _ It's alright. I'm just glad I'm not whoever it is you're looking for. _

 

[9:33]  **Yeah, sorry about that. I got kind of irritated with my team.**

 

[9:33]  _ It happens. Though might I ask what happened? _

 

[9:36] **Someone thought it would be funny to make my phone short out.**

 

[9:36]  _ And how exactly did they manage to do that. _

 

[9:37]  **I don't know. I'll have to ask when I figure out which of them did it.**

 

[9:37]  _ Right. I guess I should let you find your culprit then. Good luck. _

 

[9:38]  **Why thank you.**

 

****

 

**Tuesday PM**

 

[6:37]  **I caught them.**

 

[6:39]  _ And you're telling me because? _

 

[6:40]  **I thought you might want an update since you were so interested in the situation earlier.**

 

[6:40]  _ Thank you then. I suppose. _

 

[6:41]  _ Who was it? _

 

[6:41]  **Both of them actually. Can't say I'm surprised.**

 

[6:42]  _ I suspect that this sort of thing happens a lot then. _

 

[6:42]  **Occasionally when they get bored. Or, well, when one of them gets bored and drags the other into it.**

 

[6:43]  _ So what did you do to them? _

 

[6:43]  **Nothing horrible. I switched around the names of their contacts.**

 

[6:43]  _ Hopefully that'll be enough for them to stop. _

 

[6:44]  **For a while. There's nothing that will stop them completely.**

 

[6:44]  **Not that I blame them. This place is boring.**

 

[6:45]  _ And what place would that be? _

 

[6:45]  **Nothing of consequence.**

 

[6:45]  **Speaking of which, I have to go. Good night.**

 

****

 

**Wednesday PM**

 

[12:34]  _ You said team. _

 

[12:35]  _ Are you like part of some sort of sports team? _

 

[12:35]  **Well howdy to you too, stranger.**

 

[12:36]  _ You're not answering. _

 

[12:36]  **Because I'm not at liberty to say.**

 

[12:37]  _ "Not at liberty." _

 

[12:37]  _ Am I going to die if you tell me? _

 

[12:40]  **Well...**

 

[12:41]  _ I feel like you're trying to scare me off from asking. _

 

[12:41] **Look who's catching on.**

 

[12:41] **But I really can't say.**

 

[12:42]  _ I understand. Vow of silence and all that. _

 

[12:42]  **Exactly. If only more people knew when to quit like that.**

 

[12:43]  _ Oh, I didn't say anything about quitting. I'm just going to be more discrete at it.  _

 

[12:43]  **I admire your persistence. But that won't stop me from having to kill you when you find out.**

 

[12:44]  _ If you find me. _

 

[12:45]  **Of course I can find you.**

 

[12:46]  _ You don't even know my name. _

 

[12:47]  **I could find out.**

 

[12:47]  **I already know your number.**

 

[12:48]  _ I'm talking to a murderer, aren't I? You're a murderer.  _

 

[12:48]  _ How ever will I tell my family? _

 

[12:49]  **I can assure you that I'm not a murderer.**

 

[12:50]  _ That's exactly what a murderer would say. _

 

[12:50]  **It seems that I've been caught then.**

 

[12:51] _ It seems so. When I expect to be murdered? _

 

[12:52]  **I'm busy this week but I like you so I'll pencil you in for Friday.**

 

[12:52]  _ You really know how to make someone feel special. _

 

[12:53]  **I do try my hardest.**

 

[12:54] **I may be a murderer but I am polite.**

 

[12:55]  _ If only there were more murderers out there like you. _

 

[12:56]  **That wouldn't be a good thing.**

 

[12:56]  _ And why do you say that? _

 

[12:57]  **That means they’d be harder to catch.**

 

[12:58] _ Fair enough. Anyway, I have to go. .  _

 

[12:58]  _ Farewell, murderer. _

 

[12:59]  **Goodbye.**

 

**

 

[12:40] You don't have any other friends. 

 

[12:40]  **I’m trying my best not to be offended.**

 

[12:41]  What he means to say is who are you talking to?

 

[12:41] You know it's true mate. Who is it?

 

[12:42] **That wrong number from the other day.**

 

[12:43] What?!

 

[12:43]  J ack, do you have any idea about how dangerous that is?

 

[12:44] Even I wouldn't do that.

 

[12:44]  **What about all those people you try to sleep with?**

 

[12:45] I know all the important things. Age, gender, name.

 

[12:45] **You're just jealous because I get more than you.**

 

[12:46]  Boys. Not now.

 

[12:46]  We're just worried about you, Jack. You don't know anything about this person.

 

[12:47]  **You don't need to worry about me. I can look out for myself.**

 

[12:48]  We're your friends. We just want to make sure you do anything stupid.

 

[12:50] Jack. Mate. 

 

[12:51]  **Look, I get that you two are concerned but I can look after myself.**

 

[12:51]  Alright. But just be careful, okay?

 

[12:52] Don't tell him where you live or anything like that.

 

[12:52]  **Well there goes my plans. I was going to tell him my exact location and offer to**

**have him come /murder/ me.**

 

[12:53]  Jack.

 

[12:53]  **I'll be fine. I'm not an idiot.**

 

[12:54] Debatable.

 

**

 

[1:26] **_Who were you texting at lunch?_**

 

[1:26]  _ No one. _

 

[1:27]  **_You were smiling._ **

 

[1:27] _ So? _

 

[1:28]  **_You don't text no one and smile._ **

 

[1:28] _ Doesn't matter who I was talking to. _

 

[1:29] **_Yes it does. Come on, Ianto. We're meant to be friends._**

 

[1:29] _ We are friends. _

 

[1:31] _ Okay, fine. You know that number that texted me the other day? _

 

[1:31] **_You were not!_**

 

[1:32] _ I was, actually. _

 

[1:32] **_Do you know how bloody dangerous that is?_**

 

[1:32] **_It could be a murderer._**

 

[1:34] _ Will you calm down? They don't know who I am. _

 

[1:34]  **_Why are you even talking to them?_ **

 

[1:35] I _ got curious. They mentioned they were part of a team so I asked if they meant a sports team. _

 

[1:35]  **_And?_ **

 

[1:36]  _ I didn't really get an answer. _

 

[1:37]  **_Maybe you're not supposed to know._ **

 

[1:37]  **_Maybe you shouldn't even be talking to them._ **

 

[1:38]  _ I never said that I should be.  _

 

[1:38]  _ Now stop texting me. I don’t want to get my phone taken away. _

 

****

 

**Thursday PM**

 

[11:32]  **heyyu**

 

[11:32]  _ Hi…? _

 

[11:33]  _ Are you drunk? _

 

[11:33]  **a litree**

 

[11:34]  _ Okay. I guess that's a yes.  _

 

[11:34]  **it wa owens ides**

 

[11:35]  _ And yet I don't find that comforting.  _

 

[11:35]  _ Why on earth are you texting me? _

 

[11:36]  **everrone iis sleppbg loooserrs**

 

[11:36]  _ And what makes you think I wasn't sleeping? _

 

[11:37]  **didnt tink o dat**

 

[11:38]  _ Maybe you should next time.  _

 

[11:38]  _ Now your lack of spelling and grammar is giving me a headache. Goodnight.  _

 

[11:39]  **nooo**

 

[11:40]  _ And why not? _

 

[11:41]  **my feiwns tink it weerd dat I no noting bou u**

 

[11:41]  _...okay? _

 

[11:42]  **Whas ur nam?**

 

[11:42]  _ Not going to happen.  _

 

[11:43] **yyy**

 

[11:43]  _ We had a conversation about you being a murderer yesterday.  _

 

[11:44]  **m no acuallu a muderr**

 

[11:44]  _ I'm not taking any chances.  _

 

[11:45]  **ill tel u minne**

 

[11:46]  _ No. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed.  _

 

[11:47]  **dont b dat wat darln**

 

[11:48]  **swetpea**

 

[11:48]  _ This is harassment. You can get arrested for it.  _

 

[11:49]  **tel me 1 ding and ill stopp**

 

[11:50]  _ Fine. What do you want to know? _

 

[11:52]  **are u boi or gurl??**

 

[11:52]  _ I'm so glad I'm awake for this. Really.  _

 

[11:53]  **anwwer**

 

[11:53]  _ I'm a boy.  _

 

[11:54]  _ Can I go back to sleep now??? _

 

[11:54]  **Okay.**

 

[11:55]  **m a boi 2 if u wanna no**

 

[11:58]  **gopdnoggt sxy**

 

****

 

**Friday AM**

 

[7:30]  _ RISE AND SHINE  _

 

[7:32]  _ I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU PROBABLY PASSED OUT WITH YOUR PHONE NEXT TO YOU  _

 

[7:34]  _ SO UP AND AT EM SOLDIER _

 

[7:35]  **you are a cruel cruel person.**

 

[7:35]  _ You're the one that woke me up at an ungodly hour of the night.  _

 

[7:35]  _ And all so you could find out my name and gender.  _

 

[7:36]  **I'm a naturally curious person.**

 

[7:37]  _ Curiosity killed the cat.  _

 

[7:37]  **Satisfaction brought him back.**

 

[7:39] **God, I hate this. I've thrown up three times already.**

 

[7:40] _ That's the sort of thing you keep to yourself.  _

 

[7:41]  **You're the one that one that's woke me up, love.**

 

[7:42]  _ And now I need to go.  _

 

[7:42]  _ So go ahead and sleep your hangover off.  _

 

[7:43]  **Thanks for your blessing.**

 

[7:44]  _ You're welcome.  _

 

[7:45]  _ Goodbye.  _

 

[7:45]  **Later**

 

****

 

**Friday PM**

 

[4:56]  **It has been drawn to my attention that you are now in my phone as Sexy Boy.**

 

[4:56]  **Seems drunk me knows more about you than sober me.**

 

[4:57]  _ I can assure you that that isn't the case.  _

 

[4:57] **Either way, I think a change is in order.**

 

[4:58]  _ If that change involves you knowing my name, then no.  _

 

[4:79]  **Well what am I in your phone?**

 

[5:00]  _ “Murderer” _

 

[5:00]  _ With the quotes and everything.  _

 

[5:01]  **Because that's not suspicious.**

 

[5:01]  _ Not like people take in interest in who I'm talking to.   _

 

[5:02]  **???**

 

[5:03]  _ Nevermind that. Anyway, I think we both probably need to change them.  _

 

[5:04]  **Probably. I mean, it would be a shame for people to assume that I'm taken.**

 

[5:04]  _ And not that you're gay?  _

 

[5:05]  **I am gay.**

 

[5:05]  **I'm Tyler Oakley level gay.**

 

[5:06]  **Probably gayer. Even though I'm actually pan.**

 

[5:10]  **Is that really a problem?**

 

[5:11]  _ No, no. I just. I don't know. Sorry.  _

 

[5:11]  _ And I had to google who Tyler Oakley was.  _

 

[5:12]  **You don't know who Tyler Oakley is?!**

 

[5:12]  **Uncultured swine!**

 

[5:13]  **But, seriously, is there a problem with me liking men?**

 

[5:13]  _ There really shouldn't be but I guess some of my dad’s bigotedness rubbed off on me.  _

 

[5:14]  **Ah. So it's an upbringing thing.**

 

[5:14]  _ I've been trying to get over it but it just tends to stick.  _

 

[5:15]  **Don't worry. At least you're trying. More than others can say.**

 

[5:16]  _ I guess.  _

 

[5:16] **But just know that I'll call you out if you say anything homophobic.**

 

[5:17]  _ That seems fair.  _

 

[5:17]  _ I have to learn sometime.  _

 

[5:18]  **That's the spirit.**

 

[5:19]  **I don't think we've accomplished different contact names though.**

 

[5:20]  _ It seems that we haven't.  _

 

[5:20]  **Hm. Looks like you're stuck as Sexy Boy then.**

 

[5:21]  _ Oh god.  _

 

[5:21]  **Unless you tell me your name.**

 

[5:22]  _ I think I'll stick with that. And you're gonna be “Murderer” it seems.  _

 

[5:23]  **I can live with that.**

 

[5:24]  _ I have to finish my homework since someone interrupted me.  _

 

[5:25]  **Shame on them.**

 

[5:26]  _ Indeed. Goodbye. _

 

[5:26]  **Bye.**

 

**

 

[5:06] You look slightly… upset. 

 

[5:06]  **Slightly?**

 

[5:07] Make that very. Very upset. 

 

[5:07] What happened?

 

[5:08]  **I told him I like men and he hasn't responded.**

 

[5:08] Doesn't look too good then. 

 

[5:09]  **Why do I always get the morons?**

 

[5:10] They need to have their Gay Experience with someone. 

 

[5:10] Why not with a Grade A Gay?

 

[5:11]  **You're so offensive.**

 

[5:11] I try my hardest. 

 

[5:12]  **He's apologized.**

 

[5:12]  **And he doesn't know who Tyler Oakley is.**

 

[5:13] To be fair, I only know who he is because of you. 

 

[5:13]  **I suppose so.**

 

[5:14]  **Seems it's an upbringing thing. His father was apparently narrow minded.**

 

[5:15] Is that good thing? 

 

[5:15]  **He didn't seem to mind when I said I wouldn't hesitate to call him out on it.**

 

[5:16] So he isn't too bad then. 

 

[5:16] What brought that about anyway?

 

[5:17]  **I told him that he's called Sexy Boy in my phone and he pointed out that I wasn't**

**concerned about people thinking I was gay.**

 

[5:17] At least that's out there. He's still talking to you, isn't he?

 

[5:18]  **Yeah. He said he’s trying to improve on that front so**

 

[5:18]  **We’ll have to see how that goes.**

 

[5:19] Does that mean you’re going to continue talking to this bloke?

 

[5:20]  **He’s stuck here, Owen. He’s a part of me.**

 

[5:20] You’re so dramatic. It hasn’t even been a bloody week. 

 

[5:21]  **And? I got attached to you and Tosh within a week.**

 

[5:22] I don't really get you at times. 

 

[5:22]  **I get that a lot.**

 

[5:23] I know. From me. 

 

[5:23]  **And Tosh.**

 

[5:25] And Tosh. 

 

[5:25]  **Anyway. I have to go. I'm watching Rose.**

 

[5:26] Careful. Don't scare her too bad. 

 

[5:27]  **That feline loves me.**

 

[5:28] Are you sure?

 

[5:30]  **I am very lovable, Owen.**

 

[5:31]  **Bye.**

 

[5:31] Later mate. 

 

****

 

**Saturday Midnight**

 

[12:09]  **ROSE IS GONE**

 

[12:11]  _?? Who? _

 

[12:11]  **MY FRIENDS CAT**

 

[12:11] I  **I WAS SUPPOSED TO WATCH HER BUT I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN**

 

[12:12]  **AND NOW SHE'S GONE**

 

[12:13]  _ Why are telling me? _

 

[12:14] **NO ONE ELSE IS ANSWERING**

 

[12:14]  _ Okay. Shouldn't you be looking for her? _

 

[12:15]  **I WAS. I'M SITTING ON THE CURB.**

 

[12:15]  _ Well firstly, turn off caps lock.  _

 

[12:16]  **sorry**

 

[12:17]  _ It's fine.  _

 

[12:17]  _ Second, go back to your friends house.  _

 

[12:18]  **But what about Rose??**

 

[12:19]  _ Cats wander off. She's probably looking for her master.  _

 

[12:19]  _ She’ll be back.  _

 

[12:20]  **How can you be so sure?**

 

[12:21]  _ My aunt has several cats that I am constantly called upon to watch.  _

 

[12:22]  **So you're a cat expert, huh?**

 

[12:23]  _ I wouldn't say expert but I know my fair share.  _

 

[12:23]  **Right. I'm on my way back to the house now.**

 

[12:24]  _ Good.  _

 

[12:25]  _ Honestly. It's midnight. What were you doing running after a cat for? _

 

[12:27]  **Rose is a special cat. Dr. Smith loves her. They've been through a lot together.**

 

[12:27]  **And honestly she's grown on me too.**

 

[12:28]  _ You and this Dr. Smith close? _

 

[12:30]  **Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that.**

 

[12:31]  **He was one of the foster homes that I went to. Probably one of the only ones that I**

**actually enjoyed being at.**

 

[12:35]  **Sorry. That's a bit much.**

 

[12:36]  _ No, it's fine. I just wasn't sure how to respond.  _

 

[12:37]  **As long as you didn't make anything close to a pitying remark, I would have**

**accepted anything.**

 

[12:37]  _ Fair enough.  _

 

[12:38]  _ If he's a foster parent, doesn't he have a kid there that could watch Rose? _

 

[12:38]  **They're all with him. He enjoys taking them on trips and stuff. Gives ‘em a bit of**

**adventure, as he would say.**

 

[12:40]  _ He sounds like a great guy.  _

 

[12:41]  **He is.**

 

[12:42]  **Rose is waiting by the door!**

 

[12:43]  _ Yay _

 

[12:44]  **God, I could has been out there looking for hours.**

 

[12:44]  **Thanks.**

 

[12:45]  _ It was no trouble.  _

 

[12:46]  **Sorry for texting you so late.**

 

[12:46]  _ It's fine.  _

 

[12:46]  _ Though I should probably get back to sleep.  _

 

[12:47]  _ Goodnight.  _

 

[12:47]  **Good night.**

 

**

 

**Saturday AM**

 

[10:28]  **Good morning starshine**

 

[10:29]  _ Morning.  _

 

[10:29]  _ How's Rose this morning? _

 

[10:30]  **As lovely as ever.**

 

[10:31]  **She's doesn't even seem to realize that she nearly gave me a heart attack last**

**night.**

 

[10:32]  _ Well she's a cat.  _

 

[10:33]  **She's a highly intelligent cat.**

 

[10:34] 

[10:34]  **Just look at her!**

 

[10:34]  **Isn't she adorable?**

 

[10:35]  _ She is very adorable.  _

 

[10:35]  **She is also very feisty.**

 

[10:36]  **I have many scars from her.**

 

[10:36]  _ I would scratch you too if I had to deal with you.  _

 

[10:37]  **Kinky**

 

[10:38]  _ Bite me.  _

 

[10:38]  **Kinkier.**

 

[10:40] _ You're insufferable.  _

 

[10:41]  **Aw, are you not going to join in with my sexting?**

 

[10:41]  _ As I am currently sitting with my family, I don't think I'll enjoy myself if I do.  _

 

[10:42]  **So if you were alone…**

 

[10:43]  _ It would stil be a no.  _

 

[10:43]  **Killjoy.**

 

[10:44]  **One of these days I'll get you to.**

 

[10:45]  _ And what makes you so sure of that? _

 

[10:46]  **No one can resist Jack Harkness.**

 

[10:46]  _ Is that who you are? _

 

[10:50]  **Shit…**

 

[10:51]  **I forgot who I was talking to.**

 

[10:51]  _ I feel as though I shouldn't be flattered by that.  _

 

[10:52]  **But you are?**

  
  


[10:52]  _ Means that you feel comfortable with me.  _

 

[10:53]  **Well I do.**

 

[10:53]  **You're a very easy person to talk to.**

 

[10:53]  **Even if I don't know who you are.**

 

[10:56]  _ Ianto.  _

 

[10:56] _ My name is Ianto. _

 

[10:57]  **Oh.**

 

[10:57]  _ Yes, well, I figured fair is fair.  _

 

[10:58]  **Well then. It's nice to meet you, Ianto.**

 

[10:58]  _ You as well, Jack.  _

 

[10:59 _ ] I have to go. I am being summoned to help with maths.  _

 

[11:00]  **Have fun with maths.**

 

[11:01]  _ Not likely.  _

 

****

 

**Saturday Noon**

 

[12:36]  **I've found out his name.**

 

[12:37] And…?

 

[12:37]  Tell us already. The suspense is killing me. 

 

[12:38]  **Ianto.**

 

[12:38] Ianto?

 

[12:39]  It's certainly… different. 

 

[12:40]  **Well your name is Toshiko.**

 

[12:41] He's got a point. 

 

[12:41] So did you tell him yours?

 

[12:42]  **Yeah. That's actually why he told me.**

 

[12:42]  **I kind of blurted out my full name.**

 

[12:43]  Jack. 

 

[12:43] It was nice knowing you, mate. 

 

[12:44]  **Really guys?**

 

[12:44]  **And how am I the dramatic one?**

 

[12:45] You know very well how. 

 

[12:46]  You can't just tell someone your full name. 

 

[12:47]  **People do that sort of thing all the time. I'll be fine.**

 

[12:47]  **And don't give me that whole “not with people you don't know” spiel. Yes, you do.**

 

[12:49]  He… he has got a point. 

 

[12:50] Fine. I just hope you don't die. 

 

[12:51]  **I won't.**

 

[12:51]  **Ianto doesn't seem the killing type.**

 

[12:52]  You don't know that for sure. 

 

[12:52]  **Trust me. I'm an excellent judge of character.**

 

**

 

[12:58]  **_Do you want to come out with me and Rhys tomorrow?_ **

 

[12:50]  _ You mean on your date? _

 

[12:59]  _ Why do you want me to tag along? _

 

[1:00]  **_You're our friend._ **

 

[1:00]  **_Besides, we haven't hung out for forever._ **

 

[1:01]  _ Don't exaggerate.  _

 

[1:01]  _ Where are we going? _

 

[1:02]  **_Does that mean you'll come?_ **

 

[1:03]  _ It means that I might.  _

 

[1:03]  **_That's as good as a yes._ **

 

[1:04]  **_We're going bowling._ **

 

[1:05]  _ Bowling? _

 

[1:05]  **_It'll be fun! When was the last time we went bowling together?_ **

 

[1:06]  _ I believe it was Rhys’ birthday party.  _

 

[1:06]  _ His 12th birthday party.  _

 

[1:07]  **_It couldn't have been that long ago._ **

 

[1:08]  _ It was.  _

 

[1:08]  _ Want to know how I know? _

 

[1:08]  _ My mum has pictures. In the photo album. Horrible pictures.  _

 

[1:09]  **_They can't be that bad._ **

 

[1:10]  _ They can be and are.  _

 

[1:10]  _ There's one of me hitting the ceiling with the ball.  _

 

[1:11]  **_I remember that!_ **

 

[1:12]  _ Yeah? Well there's also one of you falling because you stepped on the lane.  _

 

[1:12]  **_No_ **

 

[1:13]  _ Yes. It's my favorite actually.  _

 

[1:14]  **_We must burn the album._ **

 

[1:14]  _ Certainly not the entire thing. There's irreplaceable memories in there.  _

 

[1:15]  _ Like the time you got peas stuck up your nose. When we were 14.  _

 

[1:15]  **_I thought we destroyed all evidence of that._ **

 

[1:16]  _ All except one photo.  _

 

[1:17]  **_I hate you._ **

 

[1:17]  _ You do not.  _

 

[1:18]  _ What time are we meeting up? _

 

[1:19]  **_We'll pick you up around ten._ **

 

[1:19]  _ Why so early? _

 

[1:20]  **_Just so you'll complain._ **

 

[1:20]  **_We'll see you then._ **

 

[1:21]  _ Yeah. See you then.  _

 

**

 

[5:40]  **Owen**

 

[5:40]  **I need help**

 

[5:40]  **OWEN PLEASE**

 

[5:41] Not now, mate. 

 

[5:41] I'm getting with Diane. 

 

[5:42]  **REALLY? NOW OF ALL TIMES??**

 

[5:45]  **OWEN**

 

[5:47]  **GODDAMNIT**

 

**

 

[5:42]  **Tosh**

 

[5:42]  **TOSH**

 

[5:43]  I'm studying, Jack. 

 

[5:44]  **Tosh. Please.**

 

[5:45]  **I require assistance**

 

[5:48]  **Not you too!**

 

**

 

[5:45]  **You know that thing about cats getting stuck in trees?**

 

[5:46]  _ Yes.  _

 

[5:46]  _ Did Rose get stuck in a tree?  _

 

[5:47]  **I thought she did.**

 

[5:47]  _ You thought she did? _

 

[5:48 **] Yes.**

 

[5:48]  **So I climbed up after her to help.**

 

[5:48]  **And then the traitor jumped down.**

 

[5:49]  _ Hold on. I think I know where you're going with this.  _

 

[5:49]  _ You're stuck in a tree, aren't you?  _

 

[5:50]  **I might be.**

 

[5:53]  **Ianto.**

 

[5:58]  **IANTO NOT YOU TOO**

 

[6:00] _ I'm sorry. I'm just laughing so hard.  _

 

[6:01]  **Yes, yes. Laugh it up.**

 

[6:02]  _ I am.  _

 

[6:02]  _ Shouldn't you be calling someone? _

 

[6:03]  **Probably. I jus**

 

[6:03]  _ You just…? _

 

[6:08]  _ Hello? _

 

[6:13]  _ Jack? _

 

[6:28]  _ I'm assuming something happened. Text me later if you're still alive.  _

 

**

 

[10:20]  **Of course I'm still alive. Nothing can kill me.**

 

[10:20]  **It can seriously injure me though.**

 

[10:21]  _ You fell out of the tree, huh? _

 

[10:22]  **I might have.**

 

[10:22]  _ How'd that go? _

 

[10:23]  **I broke a leg.**

 

[10:27]  **You're laughing again, aren't you?**

 

[10:28]  _ Well I can now that I know that you're okay.  _

 

[10:30]  **You're so cruel.**

 

[10:31]  _ Fine, fine. How's your leg, Jack? _

 

[10:32]  **In a very constricting cast. I don't like it.**

 

[10:33]  _ Shouldn't have been in the tree then.  _

 

[10:33]  **I thought Rose needed help!**

 

[10:34]  _ You were trying to be a hero.  _

 

[10:34]  _ Am I supposed to be impressed?  _

 

[10:35]  **It would be nice.**

 

[10:36]  _ Then I'll be impressed in the morning.  _

 

[10:36]  **Killjoy.**

 

[10:37]  _ Good night, Jack.  _

 

[10:37]  **Yes, fine. Good night, Ianto.**

 

****

 

**Sunday AM**

 

[5:20]  **Do you think that I can get Dr. Smith to compensate for me breaking my leg?**

 

[5:28]  _ Do you ever sleep? _

 

[5:29]  **You answered!**

 

[5:29]  **Not really. I usually just lay awake until exhaustion overtakes me.**

 

[5:30]  _ Do you contemplate your place in the universe as well? _

 

[5:31]  **I know my place in the universe.**

 

[5:32]  _ Good for you. Goodnight.  _

 

[5:32]  **Aw, don't leave me.**

 

[5:36]  **Ianto?**

 

[5:41]  **Fine. Goodnight.**

 

**

 

[8:20]  **Good morning.**

 

[8:21] _ Did you even get sleep last night?  _

 

[8:21]  **Of course not.**

 

[8:22]  **Who sleeps at night?**

 

[8:23]  _ Normal people. _

 

[8:25]  **Do I really strike you as a normal person?**

 

[8:28]  _ Now that you mention it, no. Normal people would have left me alone at 5 IN THE BLOODY MORNING _

 

[8:29]  **Well someone is in a bad mood.**

 

[8:30]  _ You woke me up at an ungodly hour and are now preventing me from getting coffee.  _

 

[8:30]  **Fine. Get your coffee and I'll wait here.**

 

[8:31]  _ Thank you.  _

 

[8:40]  _ Now what did you want? _

 

[8:41]  **Just keeping you updated on the fact that I had to have my friend help me feed**

**Rose this morning.**

 

[8:41]  **He was pissed.**

 

[8:42]  _ Did you wake him up before the sun too? _

 

[8:42]  **No.**

 

[8:43]  **I woke him up at 7:30.**

 

[8:43]  **While he was at a girl’s house.**

 

[8:44]  _ No wonder he was upset.  _

 

[8:45]  **He probably wouldn't have even come if I hadn't guilted him into it.**

 

[8:47]  _ And how did you do that? _

 

[8:48]  **I reminded that he didn't respond in my time of need.**

 

[8:48]  _ Because the best friendship are built on guilt.  _

 

[8:49]  **Precisely.**

 

[8:50]  **But now I'm bored and can't do anything.**

 

[8:51]  _ Should have thought of that before breaking your leg.  _

 

[8:51]  **Ha-ha.**

 

[8:52]  **I didn't choose to break my leg you know.**

 

[8:52]  _ Maybe you should sleep. Since you didn't last night.  _

 

[8:53]  **I'm fine.**

 

[8:54]  _ Sure. Sleep is essential, you know.  _

 

[8:55]  **You sound like Tosh.**

 

[8:56]  _ She has some sense then.  _

 

[9:01]  _ I hope this silence means that you've fallen asleep.  _

 

[9:10]  _ Goodnight _

 

**

 

[9:54]  **_We're here._ **

 

[9:55]  _ Do you really want me to go? _

 

[9:56]  **_Yes! Now come on!_ **

 

[9:56]  _ I am! Quit honking! _

 

**

 

[12:37]  _ At what point should someone be killed for PDA? _

 

[12:39]  **I think around the point that someone starts to achieve orgasm.**

 

[12:40]  _ Well you're no help.  _

 

[12:41]  **What's happening?**

 

[12:42]  _ My friends brought me along on their not-a-date date because “it’s been forever since we hung out”.  _

 

[12:42]  _ And now we’re at lunch and they’re feeding each other.  _

 

[12:43]  **So you’re third wheeling, huh?**

 

[12:44]  _ Yes.  _

 

[12:44]  **You sound really bitter about it.**

 

[12:45]  _ I’m not bitter.  _

 

[12:45]  _ Why would I be bitter? _

 

[12:46]  **I don’t know. Why are you?**

 

[12:47]  _ I’m not. _

 

[12:47]  _ Just because my girlfriend broke up with me doesn’t make me bitter about being my _

_ friends’ third wheel. _

 

[12:48]  **I think we just had a breakthrough.**

 

[12:54]  _ Fuck off.  _

 

[12:55]  **I'm just saying.**

 

[12:55]  **So your girlfriend broke up with you, huh?**

 

[12:56]  _ Yes.  _

 

[12:56]  **What happened?**

 

[12:57]  _ I apparently focused on my schoolwork too much and spent too much time with Gwen. _

 

[12:59]  **That's harsh.**

 

[1:00]  _ Indeed. And what about you? Any partners? _

 

[1:01]  **Nah. I just usually go on one or two dates per person. And sleep around.**

 

[1:01]  _ So you're a whore _ . 

 

[1:02]  **Exactly.**

 

[1:02]  **And I'm very proud.**

 

[1:03]  _ Good to know.  _

 

[1:04]  _ I have to go now. Apparently texting while you're out with friends is rude. _

 

[1:04] _ Good Bye Jack.  _

 

[1:05]  **Later, Ianto.**

 

**

 

[11:30]  **Hey there tiger.**

 

[11:31]  _ Do you plan on sleeping tonight? _

 

[11:31]  **I'm not tired.**

 

[11:32]  _ Well I am.  _

 

[11:32] _ So fuck off.  _

 

[11:33]  **Rude.**

 

[11:34]  _ Go away. You can tell me whatever you were going to tomorrow.  _

 

[11:35]  **But it's important!**

 

[11:35]  _ It'll still be important tomorrow.  _

 

[11:36]  **Fine. Good night.**

 

[11:36] _ Good night.  _

 

[11:37]  _ Get some sleep.  _

  
[11:37]  **I'll try.**


End file.
